I accidentally discovered the secret to great airline service, even on British Airways.

Having spent 3 windswept rainy days in Spain, I casually asked an air stewardess if there was likely to be any air turbulence on the way back to London.

I asked as an amateur metrologist, but was mistaken and immediately marked as a nervous flyer.

From that moment on I recieved attention like I have never before.

I will be using the guise of a nervous passenger for the rest of my life now.

I may even attend the Gullen School of Drama and learn how to cry.