Sitting in the lounge at Madrid airport, minding my own business. I heard a small bell like noise... Well, more of a tinkle really.

Others sitting around heard it too. Then a British lady said the 'F' word... 'Maybe it's a FIRE alarm?'

A Nigerian man suggested that surely a fire alarm in an airport would be much louder.

The British woman ignored him, sniffed and said she thought she could smell smoke.

That woke everyone up. I couldn't smell anything, but the 'fire alarm' kept stopping and starting.

An American lady said that she thought she could smell smoke too.

The Nigerian man finally decided that he would speak to the reception staff.

It was at this point that I noticed that the alarm wasn't loud, and sounded tinkily for a reason.

There was a cleaner pushing a trolley around the lounge, picking up glasses as she walked about. The 'alarm' noise was from the glasses knocking against each other, and the 'alarm' stopped and started whenever she did.

I contemplated not mentioning it to anyone and watching the 'drama' unfold, but the panicked look of the two ladies made me pity them.

Sods law, the red faced British lady is now sitting next to me on the plane while we prepare to take off for to head back to Blighty.

I have already prepared a gag for her mouth if she speaks.